Last week, while on my quest to find Sir G, I encountered a board covered with sheets of dilapidated Manila paper. A bulletin board. Two seemingly official papers were pinned on the upper-left of it. While the opposite space was taken up by torn pages from the Philippine Collegian (the University's official school paper). Opinions by various students were scribbled on the lower half. And I was put on halt when I read the words fastfood chains. I saw HRIM {Hotel, Restaurant and Institution Management} as I skimmed through it. And I just had to read the whole article.

It was about the HRIM Department's new affiliation program. And, oh, I have to give it to the writer. She was brilliant. She authored an article bloated with lopsidedness. But I will get to the issue of irresponsible journalism in a few paragraphs.

Two semesters ago, I had to undergo a 30-hour training in a UFS {University Foodservice}. It was a course requirement. And I had to juggle that with a couple of major units that also required me to ignore my body's need for rest. We were conducting functions every month. We were required to do written and oral reports every other day. We had quizzes everyday. School was practically killing us but we got through it. Then, the semester after, we needed to work 60 hours in the UFS. Plus, the usual drill: quizess and reports. And Catering that almost robbed me of my sanity. I was always so tired but I loved what I was doing. All the work got me really fired up subconsciously. I was being taught how to become confident, and how to use that esteem to recognize my own potentials.

While, I was away, the department implemented a new program that not only requires the students to work for the UFS but also for three outside foodservices. Namely, Jollibee, Shakey's and Figaro. The set-up: each student will work 80 hours for each establishment. If I understood it correctly, this would happen on the four final semesters, a different establishment every semester. And during their senior year, the students would be given a chance to hold managerial positions, where the company would also provide a stipend. Sounds good, right?

Yes, in fact, it very much does. Heck, I would even work for free. But I would have to think about neglecting my other academic responsibilities. The activity is very sadistic and I am not exaggerating. Even only a required 60-hour training alongside my major subjects was toxic enough and, now, 80 hours? Plus, these establishments are not located inside the University. My monetary needs would increase for I would have to make additional commutation.

It was a mistake when the faculty did not ask for the students' opinion on this project. Where did democracy go? I read that an orientation was conducted but what happened to the consultation part?

There was this one thought written on the freedom board that talked about the training not being appropriate for HRIM students. Since tasks such as washing the dishes and mopping the floor would be assigned. And, obviously, whoever wrote it had no idea what he/she was talking about. She argued that HRIM is a management course, sure, that's what the M stands for after all. But everybody knows how essential the knowledge of a manager is in leading an establishment. Every good leader should know the basic operations of what he/she has been assigned to lead. And that's why we're being taught the basics in the industry. Oh, cleaning tables and waiting on others don't look spiffy and fun at all, but a good career must be built on a strong, detailed foundation. You can't just get hired as an executive without knowing the basics. And even if you do, you'll have to go through one hell of a learning process to become good in your field. We all have to start from the bottom.

In the hospitality industry, you don't just deal with food and travel. You don't just dress up and play Ms. Pretty Face, you work with people. People to lead and people to please. You can't pretend to be the boss, you have to be the boss. You should know everything there is to know. Leaders are supposed to be the experts in their fields. Competence comes with experience

It has also been argued that Jollibee, Shakey's and Figaro are taking advantage of the students. Utilizing them as cheap labor. And, well, I admit that also crossed my mind. In the article, an activist pointed out that UP students are given the education they've been privileged to receive because they are suppose to use it to serve the people and not the magnates. But hey, look, if we're just going to limit our learning inside the university, if we are just going to train in the UFS, how do you suppose we enrich our knowledge? Let me see, outdated equipment and facilities, and the inadequate market? It's not a rich school. A laboratory without even a decent oven? Decades old equipment. The students need to get out there and learn. You can't just depend on theories and just imagine the real world. That's not fun. xP It's better to be out there. It's better and will be easier to serve the people if we are equipped with the right tools.

The training should also become very handy after graduation. It will be easier to get hired if your curriculum vitae brags of several working experiences. It's mostly about competition and we should be able to compete.

This was made a controversy because an HRIM student complained to the Philippine Collegian. I understand her concern. But if I were in her position, I would grab the opportunity. No other school gives this much to their students. They should consider themselves lucky. You'll get through it. It's school, we all get through it if we try. And it's Jollibee! The biggest and most competitive QSR chain in the country. It's Figaro, the biggest Filipino-owned coffee company. Shakey's? I don't know much about it. It's pizza! Haha. xD

To hell with being taken advantage of. I trust our faculty. They have nothing in mind other than giving their students the best education they can give. Seriously, this is for your own good. I'm pretty sure you'll thank them one day. Theories are good, but theories supported by extensive experience? Much, much better.

Okay, now, irresponsible journalism. The HRIM representative was interviewed regarding the issue. To sum up his statement: the new program is actually a very good idea if we set aside the fact that the students would have a hard time managing their already damned schedule. And the author failed to include his views. The article made it sound like the whole student body is rallying against the department, which is very untrue because there is also a group which approves of the implementation. The department is not completely wrong.

So, I say, recess the program. Conduct a better study to improve it. And involve the students.

Now, back to my practicum case analyses. Ta-ta

I've tried five times to get into my very first online journal but I seem to have forgotten the password completely. I've already deleted the e-mail address I registered the username with. There's practically no other way to access it. Unless you're an amazing hacker with a gold for a heart, you can help me regain my written memories.

Anyway, right now, I'm inside an Internet shop in UP Diliman. I've been feeling very uneasy ever since I left the house this morning. And using this erm public computer intensifies the uneasiness. I miss Aida the Laptop. I'm waiting for 4 o'clock. I came to UP because I need to get a copy of Ma'am Tumanan's 111 class notes. Second exam on Thursday, so I need to hurry up and review for that. Dora will let me photocopy her notes after her class, which ends less than 2 hours from now.

Iris is coming back to the country by the way. Her month-long work plan is going to turn out as a 2-week Singapore trip instead. Oh, I'm just so envious. Haha. xD She got to travel again. I want to visit Europe! Come give me travel money!

Yes, I'm back in Manila. Kicking clumps of city dust again. My brain is still wiggling from yesterday's trip. I left the province early morning. I haven't done it in a long time and realized day trip is better. The only thing I didn't like about it was the annoying guy across my seat. I read Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, he taps my arm and comments on how philosophical my read is. I play Tekken on PSP, he taps my arm again and tells me how funny I look when I play. And insert the many times he interviewed me about my personal life here. Then, two hours before arriving at the Cubao terminal, he asks for my number. How persistent he was. Creepy. Of course, I didn't give him my number. He said he's reviewing for the BAR exam here in UP this month. Oh, small world. Good thing I'm not enrolled.

I've also been getting too many private messages on MySpace. All of them unwanted. I think if there really is this supernatural ever-bad devil, MySpace is his work. Mygawd. It's worse than Friendster. People sign up there just to get laid. If only my Texan friends don't use MySpace as their primary e-mail accounts. Well, there's this small fraction of individuals worth adding too. I've also deleted my MySpace blog. Cross-posting there is too much work.

It's raining. And it's cold. I forgot to bring my jacket. Oooh, thunder. Damn it. It's only 2:45. I miss home already.

And I miss friendship.

Haha.

Still raining. And still feeling uncomfortable.

It's one in the morning. I'm sitting on the bed with the computer on my lap. Eating a bar of chocolate. I didn't eat rice for dinner. I had 9 pieces of chicken fries from Burger King, and a cup of root beer. I wonder how much calories it pumped in my system.

My hands are ugly. My palms are lined. They have these short, thin lines like scratches clawed by a cat. They're rough. And the veins from my arms travel all the way to my wrists and to the back of my hands. I touch them and they startle me with such protrusion

Why am I here? Why did I come here? Why did I travel for 24 hours over vast oceans amongst the clouds four months ago just to get here? Why did I risk graduation? Why did I leave the environment I had been so accustomed to?

Four years ago, I had so much fervor and so much idealism, I could've powered the lamplights in Roxas Blvd. My future was planned though not in details. But I planned. Like who I was going to be and where. Did I lose focus by uninvited distractions? Or did I allow interruptions to enter the scene?

Oh. Fuck sugar. I'm almost done with my chocolate. I think I better sleep. I'm getting hyper again.

Good night.

I'm happy, you know. Very. :) No regrets.

I still don't have dorm net. I'll know in 2 weeks if they're going to give me a slot. Wasn't able to get one since they held the general assembly last week.

Still busy with acad stuff. Too many to do. The function is more than a month away but we're already going crazy. I even had to change my mobile phone line provider for that single event. Meh now a Globe subscriber. But I'll probably be using my Smart number after this semester - unless my current function groupmates are going to be my catering groupmates next semester. Which has a 90% chance of happening.

I'm going to start my Tearoom affiliation next week, on the 19th as a Supervisor for an hour. I'm still 3 hours short of the 30 hours required. Need another hour as a Maitre'd and 2 more hours as a Production Caller. WTH. My schedule is a mess. Scattered short hours. All because I needed to go home last week.

I missed a lot. A lot. Don't have dorm net. Messed up my affiliation schedule. Uninformed with our function happenings. Wasn't able to go barhopping and missed watching hawt bartenders flare as our Beverage Management class requirement.

I have so many pictures to post. But I don't have dorm net. And having no dorm net makes me really lazy.

In 15 minutes, I'll be in my dorm room watching Kare Kano.

In 2 hours, I'll be in my dorm room watching Grey's Anatomy.

In 3 hours, I'll be in my dorm room eating bananas and apples.

In 4 hours, I'll be in my dorm room forcing myself to study and do my homeworks.

In 5 hours, I'll be in my dorm room still forcing myself to do acad stuff.

In 6 hours, I'll be bored to death.

All because I don't have dorm net.

He's gone. And I still don't know what to feel. Am I really this heartless? Or am I just confused?

-EDIT-

I want to write something. I want to write something about my father's death. Because there are so many things I want to say. Because there are so many things I need to say. But I can't right now. I need to write it somewhere private, where strangers won't have the chance to judge me when I start to weep.

I didn't cry when my sister read the eulogy. Because I wrote it.

I received an SMS from my eldest sister this morning. One of my paternal uncles, Papa Moling, died of heart attack.

Then another from my youngest sister just 3 hours ago. My father started vomiting blood last night. An ambulance brought him to the city's hospital.

I don't really know what to feel. I couldn't concentrate on variable costs for a bit during my Accounting class. But everything went back to normal a few minutes after.

My heart did beat faster than normal when I heard the news about my father. But it wasn't sadness. I was feeling anxious. To hear whether he lived or not. I still haven't received any message from anyone.

I'm so busy with the HRIM series, and receiving news like these just adds more stress.

I don't have Internet at the dorm right now. We'll have a new connection next week.

Wish me luck with school.

I'm so busy I don't even have time to floss my teeth anymore.

It's 4.27AM and I'm researching about wines.

My eyes are droopy.

My head is wobbling.

I just woke up from an almost 3-hour sleep.

My report is 9 hours away. And I'm not finish with the research.

I have a quiz in 6 hours. And I haven't reviewed.

I shouldn't have gone to that get-together. I knew something like this would happen. But I still went. This is the consequence.

Why the hell am I drinking coffee if it's not keeping me awake? Damn it.

I just woke up. I thought I said I was just going to take a nap. Well, that a was a long 8-hour nap. ~_~ I was just too sleepy to wake up again. Besides, I didn't have anything important to do.

--

Somebody had been using Berta's IP address. That's why I was having a hard time connecting yesterday because there was a conflict in the network, our IP addresses are supposed to be static and I don't know where she(I'm assuming it's a girl) got the idea that she could borrow Berta's. I think she's a new resident, trying to get into the network by using an old subscriber's IP address. Or an old one who wants to subscribe but is just too stubborn to wait for the news about this semester's connection. Or maybe an old one who doesn't have any plan on subscribing and wants to get around the IT committee. Stupid. When the new connection's settled, the IT comm will hear about this.

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Today, I lost my wallet along with my Php2,500(~$56). But I'm still smiling. Why? Because I lost it minutes after I paid my boarding fee, not before. Because I lost it 3 hours after I paid for my subjects, not during. Because I only lost Php2,500 and not the Php13,000(~$283) I withdrew from the bank. Because my sister said she won't tell Mama about it. Because my other sister replaced the Php2,500. And because I have so many other reasons to smile.

( read the rest of the entry... )

P.S. Fcuk of life: if you lose something in UP, you'll never get it back. Almost every time.

Okay, no more insect in my ear. Finally settled at the dorm. Got accepted in a PI class two days ago. Will finish enrolling tomorrow. Really. The week had been incredibly exhausting. Seriously. Well, what did I expect from a UP enrollment? And from a UP dormitory?

I posted a question on the dorm's bulletin board for the IT committee regarding the Internet two days ago. A reply said that we're, in fact, going to have a connection. But there won't be until the IT people settle some enrollment and dorm issues. They want the dormers to wait until they figure out what they want to do with their lives.

Anyway, acads stuff. I'm required to submit an essay about my most unforgettable experience with alcoholic beverages. HRIM 115 is Beverage Management class and my Professor, Prof. Liza Guggenheim, is Teh Bomb, platonically. I just think she's going to be a fun teacher. Hope it's not too early to say anything. And I think I'm going to have a lot of fun tasting all those fluids that aren't water. xD

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P.S.

I'm watching Grey's Anatomy Season 2. And it's addicting. I need to get a hold of the next seasons. Need Desperate Housewives' Season 4 as well. I'm taking a break from anime and manga. Had too much of Prince of Tennis, I guess. ~_~

I am so in love with them:

This is why global warming and cramming don't make a good couple:

I grew up in a region far away from Metro Manila; our town is a place where trees are very much visible. Natives are able to drink water from the faucets without any worries of chemical contaminations, the air is humid and cool, and the heat of the sun never causes an impractical soar in the electricity bill. It is a life in the suburbia, my suburbia, away from pollution and the frantic city life. That is how I remember it, when I left to study here in the University. But, a few years ago, news about a sudden environmental crisis reached me; the planet is starting to act strangely. My suburbia is in danger.

Global warming is probably today’s most talked about issue. It has been causing a ruckus among the nations and the people have started to doubt the reliability of modern technologies’ convenience. I believe Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth is acting like an alarm clock to people who have been sleeping on the fatalities of irresponsible production and consumption. Although I’ve been quite aware of the issue for a long time already, my subconscious wasn’t completely tapped by news about unbelievable hurricanes and burning summers. But this documentary made me realize how crucial the issue is.

( read the rest of the entry... )

My mom called. It would've been a fairly pleasant conversation...had she not started questioning my confidence in my current course.

I don't care if they pay Computer Scientists Php150,000 in Singapore. Sure, I want that amount of salary after I graduate but, please, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not a CS major anymore, remember?

I don't know what to feel or think every time I hear my mom lecture about how I've handled college. The fact that she doesn't seem to trust me makes me want to shift to another course again. But I don't really want to do that. I'm happy now. I'm fine with what I've chosen. I could get a job outside the country, if that's what she wants me to do, just stop lecturing. She's part of my life, I don't have the right to tell her not to meddle with it.

HRIM students are always underestimated. The College of Home Economics is hardly commended, very unlike the famous colleges in Diliman. But I don't care. Since I transferred to the college, I have never felt any remorse. I became a better person in that college. No more 'Wow! CS ka?!' or 'Astig! Eng'g!' but it doesn't matter. I was never flattered by those remarks anyway.

I've been told a couple of times that HRIM doesn't suit me. That there are better courses that will fit me. I don't cook. I'm not pretty. But I don't care. HRIM is not culinary arts. HRIM is not a beauty pageant. (Has anyone ever told you that makeup is magic?) And it's a fcuking management course.

I'm not great. I'm not good. I'm stupid. I'm lazy. I suck in school. I already know all those things. Don't rub it. It's not helping. But I've been performing better. I still doze off during lectures but I've not failed a single subject. Some people might say that HRIM subjects are easier than CS subjects - but I say HRIM subjects are more enjoyable than CS subjects and that's what makes them easy.

I just don't care. It doesn't matter anymore.

I'm happy.